Laundry Day reminds me of how much I love my kids.

Today as I strung our laundry my clothesline, I remembered how many times I have washed, dried, and smelled my children’s clothes….there is nothing lovelier than the sweetness of your own children.   I have been criticized before for saying that it was not my intention to ever have children, this statement is true.  As a teenager and young adult I did not want to have children…I had other plans, but for some reason today, I cannot remember what those plans were.

Motherhood has changed me greatly; yesterday I stood in my old high school gym and watched Lesse dribble the basketball down the same court that I played on as a child.  I could not help, but wipe the tear from my eye, I love being a MOM.  I love every minute of watching my children succeed, watching them learn, watching them love, and crazy as it sounds watching them fight.  

I may say that I never intended to be a mom, because that is true, but God had other plans and when my name was drawn for motherhood, I stepped up and took the challenge.

Dear Lesse & D-man,
Day after day we do not see eye to eye, you are both currently grounded from you IPods, frustrated that I won’t let you have that last soda in the fridge, and attempting convince PaPa that mommy is mean.  I smile smartly at you, as I know that you are just being my children and acting exactly how I expect you to act. 
I know in the near future we are going to have many disagreements and there may be a day that you question how much your momma loves you.  Today I am going to tell you how much I love you!
I love you so much that I climb your bunk beds to feed your fish that I despise.
I love you so much that I often roll over in my bed and find racecars, Tonka trucks, and tractors lined up next to me and just smile. 
I love you so much that I have not wore a normal color of nail polish in good while…neon pink seems to be my new style.
I love you so much that when I hear you giggle at 11 pm I may sigh aloud, but I secretly giggle inside.
I love you so much that I mop the bathroom twice a night every night….with bubble bath water. 
I love you so much that I often smell like sweaty little boy and mangos (mango is Lesse’s current perfume choice).I love you so much that I often wear mud prints from your dog all over me. 
I love you so much that instead of driving our truck up the road I often drive the tractor so that I can see you smile.
I love you so much that while you sleep I work, so while you play I can watch.
I love you so much that I secretly hate pop tarts, zebra cakes, nutty butter bars, but I eat them anyways.
I love you so much that I cannot remember to text my own friends, but I have text your friends every night this week to tell them you are grounded and will have to text them next week, but I will give you their message.I love you so much that I cannot remember the last time I read a book that had more than 10 pages and less than 10 pictures.
I love you so much that I know what is burdening your heart, I am praying for the same answer, and I cry because of your heartache. Kiddos, life is not fair, being a parent is hard….I wish that I could make things be easy for you.  I am doing the best I can at being a mommy, I am so proud of how strong, honest, and loving you two have become.  One day we will together look back on all the chaos that surrounds us, wipe our brow, and say we conquered this and we did it with dignity!    Love you bunches,
Mommy

10 Blessings of Moving

I think we will just call this place HOME!

We are MOVED...yes, we are now residing back home on my Dad's farm!  While, I say we are moved, we have boxes stacked everywhere and I am not sure where my clothes for tomorrow are, but we have a bed and clean sheets!

Today, I was reminded all over again of all the special blessings in my life.  I know God is gently reminding me that while this storm (my marriage ending) is rough, I have been blessed more than I will ever know!

1.  My Family - when in need my family is there to help, pray, and give motivation!

2.  Friends - my amazing friends that covered us in prayer, did some heavy lifting, or helped entertain kids...YOU ALL ROCK!

3.  COFFEE - Dear Lord, thank you for all the Coffee Bean Farmers!

4.  Hot shower - yes it was the most amazing feeling tonight to take a steamy hot shower!

5.  Purina Protein Tubs - Blog post coming soon to explain this!

6.  Comfy Shoes - oh the relief of my sore feet!

7.  Laughter - many laughs today as we packed, moved, and giggled at others expense.

8.  Ice - it seemed cool today, but ice cold drinks tasted so good!

9.  Unorganized Stuff - it is fun to find tomato soup in my sock drawer....packing can be fun!

10.  God's Guidance - this week has been trying, exhausting, heartbreaking, but no matter where I turned, the pain I felt, I knew I had God on my side!

God Bless you all, thank you for all your prayers, and Good Night!

Becky, Lesse, & D- man  (aka FARMERS)

Finding Life in the Midst of Chaos

Our house is mass chaos as we have begun packing and moving home to my parent’s family farm, there must be boxes stacked everywhere I turn.  In the midst of all this, I keep telling myself I should not feel this overflow of pure JOY that keeps bubbling out of me.  I should be sad, but I am not…..I am truly at PEACE with my decision to move back to my roots. 

Yesterday, D-man and I traveled home for a few hours to finish the “business” part of moving back home.  We took a brief break to drive through the cows with PaPa, I glanced over and saw my son grinning ear-to-ear and pure joy beaming out of his eyes.  I thought to myself this is LIFE!

 

Today we played hooky from packing and decided to attend the Cousin Carl Farm Show in Cape Girardeau, Missouri.  PaPa thought the kids might enjoy seeing a few tractors, but I really believe PaPa enjoyed watching the kids see the tractors.  While we climbed around on the tractors, I watched the kids and PaPa interact I realized this is LIFE!    

Over this past week, I have truly realized it is not what we have it is how we use what we have.  I have never cared for fancy things, a glamorous lifestyle, but I do realize I have forgotten how special the little things are. 

Hello Single Mommahood!

So it is "official" okay technically not official, but it has been declared that I am on my way or well already living as a SINGLE Momma.   While this is no laughing matter, especially not to my kids and I, it is still something I have to live with.  Many people think that reality has not sunk in on me and that one day I will find myself weeping into my pillow worried about how I will survive.  I cannot guarantee I will never do that, but like many marriages, relationships, and life situations we see change coming and we embrace it.....I know many of you are shocked and I do apologize that it appeared we were the perfect family one day and giant mess the next.  I suppose we all deal with life in our own ways and my personal coping method has been to believe things will get better if I think they are better.....well that did not work!

PLEASE Respect our Privacy...

I have delayed commenting about this, and I have feared saying much of anything, but I have realized others are talking for me, so I must speak up for the sake of our children.

I know many of you follow my family and I either here on our blogs, on Facebook, twitter, or even at the grocery store and I know lately you have noticed things are not exactly the  same.  I refuse to share details or deal with twisted tales for the sake of my 2 darling angels that don’t deserve to deal with anything negative.

Ryan and I, much like many other marriages, have came to a time that we can no longer agree on everything in life.  With that said our disagreements are between us, not us and the world, us and our children, or even us and anyone else.  We have a firm belief that no matter what happens in the end everything we do in life, rather publicly or inside our home affects our children.  At the end of the day, no matter how we feel about each other, Celesse and Dillard deserve the best life ever and should only know happy days full of adventures. 

 From you my readers, my friends, my family I ask of you to please respect our privacy as gossip, hateful tales, and talk does not hurt Ryan or me, but it does hurt those 2 little faces that have done nothing wrong in life.  Please give us space, love, laughter, and days full of good wholesome excitement while we work through this, as negativity only does harm and positive thoughts brings strength.   

I know many of you may ask now, what happens here on Adventures Among Us, and my other blogs, well the story goes on.  We do have a summer full of adventures planned, and just like your job and everyday life goes on, ours does to. 

We thank you in advance for your respect, or your kind thoughts, and abundance of love. 

Becky & Ryan